our angel

I wish I can hug you

I wish to hold you tight

I wish to let you know

How much I love you


I wish you’re here

I wish to see you near

I wish to feed you

And to put my arms around you


I wish to sing you lullabies

To put you to sleep at night

To laugh and cry with you

And protect you from harm


I don’t know how to cope

With this loneliness I have

You left us without goodbye

Didn’t even say why


I wish to understand

Why you came and left

I thought its forever

But now I can’t kiss you ever


Now that you’re in heaven

I hope you’re a good angel

Stay with us always

And walk with us everyday

a letter to my angels

My dear little angels,

For the past few weeks, mommy have been into a terrible physical and emotional condition. I know that since both of you doesn't have any means of telling me how bad of a mom I have been, I just want you to know how sorry I am for my behaviors.

Boris, I'm sorry that mommy doesn't have much strength to teach you your lessons as much as I want to. I'm sorry that we don't get to bond as much as we used to when mommy doesn't have work.

My darling baby (in my womb) I'm sorry that mommy tends to forget taking our daily dose of multivitamins. I'm sorry that I am too emotional and can't set my negative feelings towards your father aside in favor of you. I'm sorry that I can't keep only happy thoughts only in my mind which is what I'm supposed to do.

I sincerely apologize that I was so bad in thinking what I thought last Monday just because of all the difficulties I've been going through. I know that no matter how hard things can be, the two of you will always be my priority.

Thank you my little angels, for all of the joy you bring into my life. God has been so good to me for trusting me enough with two babies.

Remember that mommy loves both of you and will always do.

Love lots,
mommy Ruby Anne