(we could have been) sisters

As I browse through someone's friendster profile yesterday, I can't help but feel bad after seeing one comment. It made me feel so low, I asked my self what's wrong with me. Not that there's something bad told against me. What made me feel bad is the fact that the comment was given to my spouse's ex-girlfriend. And the comment came from his sister. It was actually a message, telling the ex how she's being missed by my sister-in-law. How she wants for them to bond and go out, in spite of her busy schedule.

Come to think of it. Barry and I will be on our fifth wedding anniversary in a matter of days. Five years of being husband and wife. It should have been five years of us being sisters. Yet, I never felt being loved by my sister-in-law. Considering that I am not only my husband's wife, but my son Boris', (her nephew) mother.

Let's just say I don't really ask for her love. I don't ask that we bond. I guess there's no chance that we can be really close because for some reason she didn't understand I came into their lives. She had a sister in Barry's ex before I came. So she really doesn't need one. I am not really pushing it. I am not insisting that we become close. I just wish that Barry's sister will realize that it would be good if she learns to at least respect me.

Why on earth does she have to put that message in the comment box? Why does she have to let the whole world know how she misses her kuya's ex and wants them to go bonding?

I know some people may raise their eyebrows on my sentiments. They may think that I'm just insecure, or sourgraping. The truth is, I my self thought that it's best that I just keep my sentiments to my self. Well, I wished I could.

God knows how much I tried to belong to their family. He knows how much I tried to reach out to them and let them know that they can count on me. Probably, it would only be a wish for now. Maybe, they haven't accepted that I am the one that Barry married and not his ex who became a family to them for six years before I came. Or maybe, they've accepted me as Barry's wife and Boris' mother, but that's just it.

If I would think about what's wrong with me, or why I can't feel that I belong in their family, I guess I will have to torture my self . I am very much aware that I can't please everyone, so there's no point trying to please them. I guess I'll just leave it at that. It would be enough that I was able to burst out.

Anyway, I have to thank God for the wonderful sisters He gave me. My friends and my cousins, who've been there with me through thick and thin.

My sisters, I love you all so much. Thanks for being there always...



esangtot (my classmate and sister since grade one)


vintot (my best friend and sister since high school)


daisy (used to be my baby girl and now a sister to me, my cousin since birth. hehehe...)


MJ (my sister in HSBC, and up until now)


These are just a few of my sisters, the ones closest to me. Maybe I can post something here dedicated to them alone sometime soon.