I deserve to be happy too

I asked Barry to vanish before my eyes yesterday or I might end up throwing him a hot flat iron. I was pressing our clothes at that time. This may seem another overreacting moment for me, but I don't really mind. I know I have all the right to react this way.

I am not complaining about what I have been doing for my family. I chose to work because I know that it's the best thing to do so that we can manage our financial needs better. I chose not to seek help because I know I can handle everything. However, it doesn't mean I don't get tired. It doesn't mean that I can tolerate seeing him get drunk on his day off and then complain that he's always tired and sleepy.

I never really asked so much. All I ask is for him to support me the way he has to as my spouse. We should be a team here, but it seems that I'm left alone to do the household chores. I know I can take care of everything, but it doesn't mean I don't need help. It's not too much if he can just be there to accompany me to the supermarket for the groceries. It's not much if he can bathe our son and see to it that he has eaten his lunch or dinner when I'm busy with the chores.

Do I have to tell him every detail of what he has to do? Can't he just see that there are things that I can't take care of, that maybe he can accomplish since he's not doing anything? Can’t he even clean the room while watching TV?

I know he had been with me during my trying times. He was there to give his love and support when I almost died after my miscarriage. I am forever grateful to him for that. However, he should be aware that I don't need him only on times of hardship. I also need him even when I'm perfectly fit and strong.

I hope that this will not lead to something worse. I have had enough of all the emotional stress for the past few months. For once, I want to be happy again. I want to finally be able to realize that life is still beautiful. I deserve to be happy too...